post-birthday partum


was my birthday yesterday, i was unusually happy than i expected, because i was having this moment of grunt and loneliness, i feel like i don't wanna celebrate my birthday. there is nothing to celebrate about, because i am certainly not happy about the things that's going on in my life. friends, family and finances. all ablurred.


i was supposed to post something about freeloaders and megalomaniacs but i opted not to. i'd rather keep it to myself and not talk about it anymore.


and eventhough i warned people that i don't wanna be greeted on my birthday, i can't really stop people from doing anything that they want.

so to all these, MUCHO GRACIAS!

(in no particular order)


paula katrina regala
ralph julius mallari
edgar joseph boniquit
vanessa marie valles
joy celine asto
may lynn tan
madelinne joyce mojica
juan carlo carlos
maria clarette mendoza
daisy mae villegas
maria francesca joanna lirio
nizzi gatdula
jasmine solana
nilord gatdula
zaidee berniss mendiola
eunice rochelle fernando
lianne kaye cepeda
maritoni catapang
mary joy de lara
edyl macy de los santos
peter eric dacuma
leonard james postrado
Sarah Amihan Azucena -> ka birthday!!!


random chorva

this is EDUARDO, an imaginary friend from madam foster's home, he is a spanish-speaking, potato-loving cry baby-scaredy cat friend, and i lurve him!

this is my current craving meiji black chocolate, enuf said

my current crush, he looks sloppy but i don't care


somewhere in between

when your in for a long drive and can't fall asleep, you often find yourself looking out the window and absent-mindedly staring at the vast land full of greens and domesticated animals. and amidst that scene, inside your head is a stream of unending realizations and ideas, waiting to be revealed or done. and earlier i had that experience.

i never thought i was doing it, until i suddenly realized that it's been 2 hours since i straightened my neck. i vaguely remember whatever i was thinking then, nonetheless i love the feeling.

i felt like the world stopped leaving me mobile and free of all things that worries me. i can't really explain what exactly happened but it was good.


plans are final. mai, issai and i will watch EAT BULAGA LIVE on Thursday... i so hope this will push through, because i change my mind every now and then.


my cam whoring days are soon to be back in business. i talked to mr. angelito, of SM Appliance and Service Center, regarding my digicam that in less than a year got busted. and no, it's not because i overworked it. all i need to do is show them the reciept and they'll give me a new one. yehey!! i hope to get it before my birthday, i would really want to take photos of my very depressing birth-day. mahirap walang pera sa 'pinas. and please remind me, to get it in a different color this time, glossy red is so passe'.


i am not ready to go back to manila yet. the building on which my dorm unfortunately belongs has this habit of cutting the water supply without informing their tenants. how rude. i hate them. and in my case, i really hate them. for some one who's as O.C. as me would understand that i should never be water/bath deprive. i would really go ballistic if i miss a day of shower. i am beyond cranky when i don't get to take a bath or atleast wash my feet. everyone knows that i can't sleep without bathing. or atleast - at the very least wash my polluted and scum ridden face, that manila constantly enjoys to shmuck!


as much as i love High School Musical, i am really getting sick and annoyed about Disney Channel constantly repeating it, adding a karaoke this and that, and now a dance instructional chorva! i mean cmon' yes, it's so successful and loved by it's adoring fans but stop cashing in on it already. twice is really too much. in the whole month of August, there isn't a saturday that's not dedicated to High School Musical.

and honestly, i don't like Gabriella, and Troy, though i so LURVE SHARPAY! she's sassy and stylish and yes, she always get what she wants... only a true BIATCH like me would understand how SHARPAY's mind works and how she is a total Goddess! ahahaha!!!

and on the suite life of zack and cody, i loved it even more when Troy (i forgot his real name) kissed Maddie a.k.a. Sharpay. i see, i love it when they paired up..

how pathetic, i'm a 20 year old cartoon loving-teeny bopper movie watching-grownup pretender. i am certainly cursed.


attention all friends!

attention to all of my friends...

please do not greet me or try to look for me on august 31st, unless we have a class on that day, then don't greet me. it's not any form of drama from me, but i just don't want to be greeted on that day. i don't feel very festive either. i have been feeling like this for the past 3 months, so please spare me the greeting. okey.... do this for me please...

it's a personal choice. a reason i don't need to share. just don't greet me ha?.... and don't treat me any special either.

if we don't have classes on that day, i'll just sleep through the day and let pass by... okey?

it's my choice. i want to "celebrate" that day quietly and as low profile as possible.

please don't ask questions...

"i'm not being dramatic here, i just don't feel like celebrating... so thank you in advance for not greeting me..."



commune and messer


was reading bryanboy's blog and he suddenly came up to the tellie. on mel and joey nontheless...


was having a 3-day texting marathon with issai. and suddenly came up with the idea of commune. living together after college.

we were sharing our plans after graduation, where we gonna work, where we gonna live (read it, ghetto style) and i said i wanted to live in an apt. in qc. not sure about the job though, and she had this brilliant idea that we live together and tag 2 more people, and they are the lucky duo of mai and aji. of course they're an obvious choice. my only condition is i can live with anyone as long as they're neat and clean. it's the same thing. but i just had to stress it. i cannot live with sloppy people. they continuously ruin my day. im a neat -freak, backed by my o.c.-ness. according to my friends in high school, im a lethal weapon.

for example:

if, the floor is white, i want to see it white, not dirty white, not putim or with any streaks of something black or whatever that came from your shoe.

i don't like cobwebs and dust. and as much as i love animals, i don't want cockroaches and rats, living with me.

and the most important parts of the house that have to be constantly clean is the kitchen and the bathroom. it should be spotless and odorless.

enough of this.

i believe it's party all the time if we live together!! haahha!!! and issai officially assigned me as the cook... no way!!!!


for the benefit of issai and mai, this is carmine giovinazzo. CSI:NY's gorgeous blue eyed detective and resident goodboy-badboy...

he smokes and has tattoos.. and he looks sloppy. and i don't like guys like that.

but the hell... opposites attract. and who wouldn't get lost in those big blue eyes...



7th heaven on issues about sex.

i don't feel like celebrating. two weeks into my birthday i'm still not happy and excited as i used to be. i think i'll sleep the whole day on my birthday.


interesting topic on 7th heaven earlier. they have the "no sex before, marriage" rule. and all of them followed it, except Simon(David Gallagher). i like that rule. i never really liked sex. too much work and too much sound. and i don't like perspiring too much. i'm not too fond of moving in the rhytmic carnal of pleasure. besides, swaping juices and salivas are grossing me out. seeing saliva out of some one's mouth IS enough to gross me out. (that's why i hate seeing people spitting on the streets. they could have atleast covered their mouths or turn the other way where people can't see them spit.)

back to the story.

i like that guy's logic. the one who talked to simon. he asked if it's okay for him, doesn't he feel dirty, or even sinful?

simon answered no. it's nothing, it's just physical contact. nothing much. it's natural.

so the other guy goes, " i mean, i'd rather wait you know, it's like an honor if you waited, i mean, honor is important, i was raised by a marine..."

simon says, "im raised by a minister what do you think?"

the other guy asked, "so, to the girls, it's just okey? i mean, they feel it's nothing that important, they understand it's just sex, right?"

simon: "yeah..."

the other guy again, "so if ruthie gets into sex, it's okey?"

simon retorted, "wait it's about me, not about ruthie!, she's my sister!"

guy2 said, "but those other girls are someone else's daughter or sister?"

simon thinks.

yeah he's right. the other guy is right. you wouldn't want to think that your sister is having sex with different men, right? that would be awful, just to think about it, right? but when you do it with other girls, you wouldn't think of them as other's daughter or sister... that's why you'd had sex with them. ain't that fair, huh? hahaha, think about that.

becuase when you start to think about the girl you'll be having sex with, as someone's sister or daughter, and think, what if my sister is in this situation? i think the one thing that would run through your mind is, you're gonna kill that guy for taking advantage on your sister's vulnerability... right?

that's why every girl is lucky to be in a long term and serious relationship on pure friendship and love and trust and honesty. i think, these four things are the most important part of the relationship. and it should be enough, if you really love the girl or guy, sexual intimacy isn't important, what's important is her or him. the whole package. because you fell in love with the person because of his/her own being. not because you wanted to have sex.

besides, it's more painful for us girls if we ever engage in sex before marriage. because believe me, not every girl believes it's just sex. it's not just sex. it's always more than sex.

unless some girls really do want to have sex. it's their own form of necessity. and their social influences. in their case, GOOD LUCK and PLEASE, PRACTICE SAFE SEX.


shards of glass

i thought things would still be the same, and old habits die hard, i guess i was wrong. you manage to forget all the things we've been through, or am i being too clingy on things that's not even important. i guess so. because i always hold on to the past, that's why i always end up losing. but is it my fault that the past was so incredible that nothing in the present can replace it? i guess i have to make a new set of memory. and a new set of hopes and dreams. because waiting for you is like waiting for my fat to melt on its own.

disclaimer: it's not about a guy idiots, it's about a friend. i'd rather not say that friend's gender and name, because i know my friends reads my blog. i just wanted to express my sadness and sort-of-grief.


hahaha... that's it. i just wanna laugh.... hahaha... laugh some more.... hahaha...


after two weeks, i finally felt relieved and relax... and now needing of a good book. i was at the library i think, 2 days ago, in search of something good to borrow and maybe indulge myself in. i haven't indulged myself on a good book for the past months. it's pretty hard for me to find time to even read the papers. my schedule is so hectic, that i could only squeeze a few minutes to breath, and relax.

maybe that's why my vocabulary is suffering... not reading enough makes the mind rusty. when i become a mom, i will instill in my children's mind that reading is important. it does not only, take you to places, it also empowers the mind. hay....

if i still can't find a good book, i'll reread Nick Joaquin's Woman with Two Navels. i love that book. and i wanna thank my cousin for buying me that book.


ciao' babele!


suddenly animated

after the grueling hard work and tiring reviews, i finally finished my prelims exam. which was pretty decent. i was extra nervous on monday, i swear i couldn't look at sir torres straight in the face, because as i've said, i passed a really crappy article. lower than mediocre. so standardish type of article. and on tuesday, i can't really open my mouth during sir candido's time, because i know i didn't study for his exam, and i know i failed.

and to my surprise, i passed both. well, i really thought that my article deserve a 3 or even a 5, but sir torres gave me a 2.5, (which i consider a mediocre grade by the way) and it was heaven. the thought of my article atleast amounting to mediocre status felt like a compliment. indeed i feel HOORA!!!

and sir candido's exam. okay i passed that as well. and i haven't failed anything in his subject. (yet)

and now, im bracing myself for my lit. crit. essay/seatwork... God atleast give me a passing grade. from what i've heard from jrn1, they got 1/20, 7/20.... and so on...

i wish i had mediocre profs...

but then again, i'd be lying if i'd tell you i don't like them. i like them a lot. having mediocre profs would produce mediocre students. and i don't intend to be one.


moving on to CSI:NY, surprise surprise! i think jerry bruckheimer is satrting a new CSI, because CSI:NJ was guested/introduced last episode. and i nearly cried... because Danny Messer a.k.a. Carmine Giovinazzo, is suddenly part of a murder. and he cried, because his brother was beaten to a pulp. i wish i could hug him then, instead of mac! hahaha!! still waiting for the aresanob thing. a shock on my life!!!


what's happening to the world?

heat wave in america, cold wave in africa, twin storms in asia?! what's happening to the world? is mother nature finally striking back? i for one, isn't really concerned about the heatwave in america, hello?! it's the u.s. they can handle themselves, but what about the aborigines in africa, the great savannah? what about the animals?! om my God! i could just see, lions and tigers, shivering, crocodiles under the frozen river, giraffes and elephants slowly fading away. its snowing down there! people there are not use to below zero temperatures! the last time i heard about them on cnn was the death toll's increasing! i'm thinking about the people in africa, they have minimal clothing and shabby shelters, strong snow storms would easily blow them away.

this is the result of global warming, our weather's in disarray, the ozone is slowly disintegrating, and yes, we are not doing anything about it. we continue to pollute the environment and destroying mother nature.

i haven't been to africa to experience the great savannah race and african safari, and im not gonna see it in its natural beauty. the once hot and beautiful savannah...

i can feel that below the mounds of snow that covered the forest and graceland, hundreds upon hundreds of carcasses lie there. frozen solid. like insects preserved in an amber globe.


of course, we filipinos can't do nothing about it, why should we fix others problems when we can't even find answers to our own. typical pinoy.


partly obsess with paris hilton, nicole richie, nicky hilton and lindsay lohan. so freakin' obsess with young and may i say filthy rich hollywood.


in a matter of days i will soon turn in the big 2-0.
i hate that. i guess my "quarter-life-crisis" aint over yet, baby!


ho-hi! pi-nohy a-koh!

hahaha. yeah im a filipino, but my tagalog is bad. i don't even know what a "sangkalan" is... what the hell is a sangkalan anyway? my mom was frustrated with me yesterday. she was asking me if i've seen the "sangkalan", then i said, what's a "sangkalan? my mom grunted and walked away. i seriously don't know what the hell is a "sangkalan".

i've reached this age and i still don't know whether huwebes or miyerkules is thursday or wednesday. i seriously don't know. whenever anyone says things about it, like birthday or any of that stuff i always ask, what's the english word for huwebes, and miyerkules.

don't get me wrong i'm not maarte or what. i just forget words like this. because i don't use them on a daily basis.

and i hate this word. NA-KA-KA-PAG-BA-GA-BAG. i can't seriously pronounce it. i always end up saying, nakakapagbagagag, or nakakapagbagababag. i don't even know what that means. atleast im not the only one who can't say it.

i've been addicted to up dharma down. so their song OO is in constant loop on my pc. i really like it. see im pinoy. i lurve being pinoy.

hahaha!!! it's official! no classes on august 21! it's Ninoy Aquino's Birthday!!!!

ass kicking mania

i thought this week would be one hell of a vacation, instead, i'll be worrying about a lot of stuff and review a lot of things. first off, i left pretty much 3/4's of my ethics notes in manila, so i don't have anyone to blame but my stupid ol' self. second, i don't know what we'll be tested on in taxation, since i really didn't understand much of his teachings, third, we still have to pass a radio chuva for broadjrn, and that's 50% of the prelims! what the hell is that?! you give a 100 points item exam and that's only half?! wtf!

i just wanna beat some one up! come on! give me one full day of beating some one up, without getting jailed or anything please!!!

if i'd be president, i'll make a "beat-someone-up-for-one-whole-day-no-strings-attached" holiday. wouldn't you love it?

i wish christmas' here now!


pretty much messed up sir candids test.


pretty much destroyed my career for passing an even-lower-than-mediocre-article to sir vic.


pretty much gave myself disaster for forgetting my notes!


yeah that's about it.


one a lighter note... (again)

mom and i went shopping earlier. got a new bag and yellow flip flops, my blue one's in icu, and my pink one died on me.

that's about the lightest note you will hear from me. or in your case read from me.


i've said earlier that i will support the tigers in their quest to fight for the uaap crown. now let me retract myself.

i will no longer support the ust growling tigers basketball men. since their embarassing defeat against the ateneo blue eagles, with a double digit advance. i was still willing to support them when they got beaten by nu. but my Gawd! that was the worst display of action i ever saw!!! (parang ang galing kong magbasketball ah!) but they played as if they lacked the will to play. in n.u.'s case, i hardly saw anyone jumped and grabbed the rebound with Bono! come on! it's like, they're afraid bono might crush them.

hay, i wish i have school spirit.


me no brain

if you've been hanging out in the y.m. world then you'd know i've got issues. i've been using the "could someone hand me some valium now?" status on my y.m. i seriously need some. okay just kidding. what i really need is a drink. i don't care whatever kind, i just want it pass down my throat and feel a really mind busting hang over.

i talked to my parents and i've settled my priorities. i talked to them about my plan after my graduation and the rest of my life, for the next 5 years. it's the first time i felt so adult. i didn't rant and acted like a bitter ol' spoiled brat. they listened to me like the time when we had "the talk". yes, my parents sat me down and talked to me about the birds and bees when i was 10 years old! (it was the most, intense and gross part of my childhood. specially the pictures, so ewwwwww....) don't want to burden my future children with the visuals.

i've set my goals. i will apply to animal planet and world wildlife organization to be one of their volunteer for animal welfare. of course i'll still practice journalism, im not gonna leave this profession behind.


i've found my old notebooks and journal, when blogging was nonexistent and lj was still in the minds of its creator. and i was appalled by my realization. in my most shocking voice ever i said, i was a better writer before! damn! i am my worst critic, but it's the truth. the most decent thing i ever wrote was close to nothing.

my vocabulary was way broader and my stories are more serious.

maybe its because i've read more books then than now. believe it or not, the only penguin classic i haven't read yet is arabian nights. maybe i need to reread every book on my list, and lessen magazines language.


i hate to admit it, but im enclosed in a mediocrity pod. i can' t breath and im suffocating. mediocrity is eating me alive. i need to find my way out and start breathing again. sucks to be me.


on a lighter note, i am going to have a toy poodle. this is how a toy poodle looks like,

aren't they cute? i love adorable dogs. im still waiting for my chow chow and siberian husky. the toy poodle will be a gift from tita millet. the landlady i met at p.noval who like me equally adores dog. she has 3 toy poodle and 1 miniture poodle, named cutie, beauty, honey and pretty. she also has a siberian husky and is planning to buy a chihuahua.


pictures from the party!!!

korean pose
early onparty till dawn
mai and i
with shoo dis time
now with jas
mai and issai



was "hounded" by saisho about updating my blog. haven't updated yet, because of schoolwork. so here i am. squeezing a little time for my blogging.


recieved another newsletter from wwf. inviting its members for tours. i got the serengeti tour, the one with the cheetahs and the tigers, the bajan tour, (which i absolutely lurve!) about the whale phenomena that happens once a year around february, and the takai and mali tour, about the toucan birds of the amazon. again, another oppurtunity for me to pass up. i wish i graduated already, so i can start my volunteer work for these organizations. i so badly wanted to come with them..

if anyone whose kind and generous enough to sponsor me, please do so, it's for a good cause..


been studying the history of noontime/variety shows in the philippines, and found out that it originated in the vaudeville shows of the us. wala lang sidetrip lang...


come monday, we'll be having two test. and the rest of the week is free. hahaha!!! some vacation!!! pay my tuition on tuesday.

my cam is still busted, but it never stopped me from cam-whoring last saturday! acquintance party!!! WALANG TULUGAN!!! hahaha! stayed at starbucks till three and macdonalds timog till 6, then went to mass at UST. wow. fell asleep at the dorm and woke up a little over 2. had lunch at 3 and ate dinner at 8, fell asleep again at 10.

i must admit i did have fun, but not the fun that i expected it to be, nonetheless, it was worth it, having a goodtime with friends and hanging out till the wee hours of the morning chatting the time away is a must. FRIENDS WE MUST TRY IT AGAIN!


pictures will be uploaded soon! promise!